Yet, I feel alone...

God tells us that we will have struggles. He tells us how to handle it. Like Isaiah 40:30 and 31..' 30)Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31) but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. ' However, the devil tells us how to handle it too. He offers drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, gossip, pornography and other devices. All ways to escape reality for awhile and not feel the pain and struggles in life. NO ONE wakes up one morning and says I think I will become a drug addict or alcoholic. I think I will spend all my free time and watch pornography and deny my spouse that time. Some people are raised around it. Some people get addicted to drugs from an injury and a prescription drug. Some may be lost from losing a love one and in their time of pain and confusion are introduced to do drugs and/or alcohol by someone that the devil put in your path. It is a very slippery slope. We find ourselves lost before we realize that we have even taken a wrong turn. This world moves so fast. Everything is about money. Bills don't stop because your money is gone. We work and work to make ends meet and slowly slip from our families and LOVE aka GOD! ......As we slip our hearts grow harder and harder and we look for energy, comfort and peace in the wrong places. We gossip about others to make ourselves sound good. Before we know it we are 'praising' the devil. What we don't see is God is still with us. 'Emmanuel' 

We are God's children and he is always waiting on us to come home. Luke 15:10 'In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.' This verse is in the parable of the lost coin Luke 15: 8-10 In this parable a woman loses one of her 10 silver coins and she turns on a lamp and sweeps her home until she finds it. She shares the news with her friends because she is so happy it is back in her hands and that is how happy it is in heaven when one sinner repents. 

Right now is the Christmas season. The time of the year where bright lights are lit up and songs fill the air and love is in the air. We take the time to show love and to remember a child was born. A child for all of us. A child that grew up as a boy and died a brutal death for each of us! To save us not condemn us to sin and addiction. We all need to find peace and comfort in this. He will supply all our needs! Luke 12: 22-24 22) Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23) Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24) Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them...." This is how he tells us not to worry. Faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. If we stay focused on him, he WILL deliver us from sin and addictions. Psalm 46:1 'God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.' If we live each day as we should by beginning and ending our day in prayer God will carry us through our hard times. With God by our side nothing can beat us unless we give into the flesh. Wake up and thank him, tell him you love him, ask him for his protection, peace, guidance whatever your need for the troubles for that day. Prayer is very powerful. Surrendering to God and seeing his blessings develop in our lives and feeling his LOVE is the best 'high' any worldly thing can give you. 

The poem footprints in the sand is another tool that I use in my daily walks to help me get through all day to day issues and pain and disappointments. This world is full of evil and without our Godly amour WE WILL DIE!!!

The Footprints Prayer

One night I had a dream...

I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before us, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, there was only one set of footprints.

I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life this really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, You would walk with me all the way; But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, There is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why in times when I needed you the most, you should leave me.

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child. I love you, and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

God Bless!

We All Have a Different Path to Walk

I have been thinking about this blog a long time and I am very late getting this in. Since I began writing this blog, I have had to take this time for some interior perspective. Living sober is not easy I have failed many times. I wonder why I was asked to write this there are so many more qualified people than I. I see such success stories like Jeff Garrett and Rocky Meadows and i feel like a failure in my struggles, but then I realize we all have a different path to walk. I could not walk their path and they couldn't walk mine. 

My dad was a raging alcoholic and my childhood in a lot of ways was a nightmare. He was not a good or a nice man. He beat my mother, brother and sister's. I did not get that normal childhood and as a result at the age of 11 I started trying to find anyway that I could to numb myself to the world I knew. That was mainly weed, then as I got older I fell into my dad’s trap and began a long relationship with alcohol. I have had DUI's and wrecked cars and disappointed my mother in so many ways that it breaks my heart. But as I developed a relationship with Jesus, He has helped me heal. No, I am not where I want to be yet, but I have hope in Christ that He will deliver me. 

This brings me to where I am now, I am struggling, but still swinging. I give the hope I have as the biggest reason I am still in the battle and didn't totally surrender. Now I think about what we are seeing in our city on a daily basis. My nephew and his fiancé were struggling and in one night of weakness they slipped back, and went and got some heroin. They went to sleep and when he woke up she didn't. She was 24 and had lost her best friend and her father to heroin. She was a Christian. But I think those 2 loses eroded her hope. I am worried that my nephew will follow. 

Our children are doing what I did, following in their addicted parents footsteps. That's the path we are showing them. I had my best friend just a day later have to call 911 because his daughter was laying on his bathroom floor dead of an overdose, but this time the wonderful EMT workers were able to save her life. Thank God, but he did have that moment of holding his dead daughter in his hands. I can’t imagine that and do not want to. My friend and the mother are no longer together because of addiction. The mother went to her daughter after she was sick and recovering from this traumatic event and asked her where she got the heroin because she wanted the "Good Stuff". 
This is what we’re fighting. A disease that eats whole families either if you use or a family member of someone who does. God has plans for us to prosper and not to suffer. Children follow our example's good or bad. Living sober is not just for you, you may save your child.

God Bless   

August 2016

I hear a lot of people say, “why would do without anything I want?”.  We see it everywhere on T.V. , the movies, music and on the internet that excess in all forms is the key to true happiness in this life. The world wants you to compare yourself and your level of happiness to what things you need in this world to make you complete. If the Jones can step over or on someone to further themselves then that's what we all should do. If they can drink, do drugs, hurt people, kill people, destroy kids and families, steal or lie to get what they want, THEN WHY DON’T I DO IT !!

The reason is simple. We we are not called to be like the Jones, but to be like our savior, Jesus Christ. He will not belittle you or make you feel inferior because you make mistakes or because you don't have something. He accepts you as you are. He loves you through your battle and strengthens you to stay strong. Yes, you will fall short but He does not leave you and He never will. One thing that He wants is for you to repent and to start again. Peter walked with Christ and felt the grace that simply glowed off of Him, but he fell short in his darkest time and denied Jesus three times. Then Jesus came back to him and simply asked if Peter loved Him. I think it’s funny that He asked him three times. Peter was accepted back by Christ and that's not the only time Peter failed and got caught up with the voice of the world as we do. But he did repent and tried not to make those same mistakes again.

The people we have in our lives are a big part of who we remain to be. Like my mother always said," If you lay down with dogs you’re gonna get up with fleas". So to stay in a stronger area in your life without addiction you cannot hang with addicts. Even if it’s not your addiction it will weaken you. If you have the right people around you then the life that God wants for you is attainable and it will be glorious. Then, the worlds grip doesn't seem strong at all.

2 Timothy 3:1-7 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. ...

Because everyone you know is not looking out for your best interest/  They may just want your money or your company.

1 John 4:1-6 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. They are from the world; therefore they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. ..

In closing, just remember that the role model we are asked to follow did not drive a nice car or live in the biggest house or party every night and watch porn or gossip. He lived for others, His joy came from love and sharing of God's word. He wore tattered clothes and loved us despite of us.  He came to die for us, not to kill us. That just does not make sense to this world. So share the Word with your children.

Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

God bless you all.

Why do I still feel so tempted after giving myself to the Lord?

One of the hardest parts of staying sober is old habits, when things go bad or anything that triggers our dependent behaviors. God never said that when you come to Him that all your problems would be over. We have to remember, we did not get in this situation overnight and we will not be delivered overnight. He does promise to give us strength and hope to fight the battles are in daily. If we take the time and realize when we gave ourselves to Him that He is rebuilding us from the inside out, but we do have responsibilities in this walk through our troubles.  We have to make some changes in our lives to truly follow God and recognize the work that He is doing. 
The first thing we must do is start a new habit of reading and studying God's word. This is the best way to keep His promises in our heart, because that is where change truly begins. When you are building a house you must start with a solid foundation. Would you build a house on sand or a rock? You must submit yourself to recovery in God, resist the devil and he will flee.( James 4:7 ) Study with prayer will be the path that will lead you to true freedom. 

            Next, we must remember that you will continue to have struggles; but your walk will be used by God to deliver someone else you may not even know, because of your testimony of deliverance. (1 Peter 5:10) The God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. This is a promise and this is an example of us learning how to exercise faith in God's promises daily.

            The final step we must remember is in 1 Corinthians 15:33. “Don't be mislead; bad company corrupts good character.”  If you are spending time with people you think our your friends and they are not a positive force in your recovery then run don't walk away from them, because we all know misery loves company.  When we make major life changes we can’t do it alone, we can’t move forward with an anchor around our neck. Jesus defines a friend as someone who is willing to lay down their life for you. Follow this as an example to make friends and you will be so strong and life will change for you.  
            So in closing read your Bible, practice your faith and stay around people who want to watch you succeed and that empower you. This is a recipe for success for all of God's children not just addicts.  

                                                                                        God bless you
                                                                                         God loves you.

Why do I have this battle when others are free?

I feel like I have been singled out because I am weak to deal with this addiction. I see others that live life so easy and happy and I wonder why God hasn’t just waved His hand and removed this evil from me. I know though, that God has put me through this for His purpose. I remember what Joseph said to his brothers when they came to Egypt. They had sold him into slavery and now he was second only to the king. They apologized and he simply responded you did it for evil, but God meant it for good. So I am reminded that God does only good. We may make bad decisions and we will, but the beauty of God is that no matter     how many mistakes we make or how many times we fall God will use that for good in some way. We don’t need to know the plan we just have to have faith He is with us every day. You may fall just to reach somebody that has fallen further.

Everybody has a cross to bear and I mean everyone. No one walks through life without something. Paul often commented about the thorn in his side that he dealt with until death. They never say what it was but he walked on in faith and continued to build a relationship with Him. He put on Gods amour and continued on. Then I remember Mathew 26:36-56 { Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” 37 And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch[a] with me.” 39 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” 40 And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? 41 Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 42 Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” 43 And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. 44 So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. 45 Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Sleep and take your rest later on. See, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.” Betrayal and Arrest of Jesus

This puts everything in perspective, because He accepted His cross that no one else could carry. Jesus showed the human side of the flesh and the strength of faith in His Father to do the good that God knew had to be done. Jesus fell to earth just so He could help us up. 


The Lies We Tell Ourselves

I can quit anytime I want !!!!
I only do it on the weekends !!!
I don't have a problem !!!!

These are just a few of the lies we tell ourselves as an addict. If you want the truth, ask yourself 3 questions. 

  1. Do you think about it more than your family's needs?
  2. Does my family suffer from my pursuit of this addiction?
  3. Does my addiction keep me from being the husband, wife, man or woman that God wants me to be?

If you understand and answer these questions honestly you will realize that you need help if you are an addict. That does not mean just drugs and alcohol.  Addiction has many forms like shoplifting, gossip, cell phones, etc.... YOU CANNOT DO IT ALONE !
There are many groups out there like N.A or A.A for all types of addictions. 

Romans 7:7-25 (NIV)-The Law and Sin
7 What shall we say, then? Is the law sinful? Certainly not! Nevertheless, I would not have known what sin was had it not been for the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, “You shall not covet.”[a] 8 But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of coveting. For apart from the law, sin was dead. 9 Once I was alive apart from the law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. 10 I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death. 11 For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. 12 So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. 13 Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! Nevertheless, in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it used what is good to bring about my death, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful. 14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[b] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature[c] a slave to the law of sin.

This is not a message of condemnation.  This is a message of Hope. Jesus loves us all and knows the battle we face on a daily basis. He reaches out to us through several different groups and many people are here to help. Call someone you trust and ask for help. Or look for a local A.A. or N.A. meeting. 

Help is out there, We have to accept it and be Honest. God bless you. 


I Don't Want To Be a Hypocrite

I want to go to church but I am going to wait until I am a better person. I still battle drugs and alcohol. When I quit, I will go to church. I Don't Want To Be a Hypocrite! Do you know that God defines a hypocrite as someone who pretends to be better than he or she is?   Not someone coming to church with a heavy burden and looking for Him. Matthew 6:5 says “When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by man. I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room and close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

If you are worried about the judgement of man in a church, allow me to remind you of Matthew 7:1-3,  “Do not judge , or you to will be judged. For in the same way you judge others you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of saw dust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”  This tells us that at no time are we to pretend that we know any one persons walk with the Lord.  Anything that keeps you from Him is a sin.  We are as the Parable of the lost son, Luke 15:11-32. I will tell you that in Romans 3:23  “For all have fallen short of the glory of God”.  Luke 19:10, “For the Son of man is come to seek and to save the lost”. This doesn't mean to continue to sin willingly. Romans 6:1-23, “What shall we say then?  Shall we continue to sin, that grace may abound?” ...... You can research the rest, but don't let man keep you from the Father. Go to God to build a relationship and He will deliver you to a place of peace. No it won't happen overnight and it takes work from you, too. Trust in Him and He will strengthen you. 

God Bless