Debt – The American Nightmare

If you're like most Americans, you probably have debt.  Credit cards, student loans, and car loans are among the debts that have a grip on many in our society today.  (I'm not talking about mortgage debt in this post.)  If you don't have at least one of these types of debts (or something similar), you are in the clear minority, a rare breed!  Recently, we were talking to a relative who works in new car sales and he half-jokingly said we should come in a buy a car.  When my wife said,” No way!” because we don't have any car debt, he quipped back, “That's un-American!”  And you know what, sadly enough, he's pretty much right.  That's just the way it is!  But does it have to be?

Most people have bought into the idea that they will probably always have debt - hook, line, and sinker.  I can remember discussing with a former boss our plans to become debt free (No, we're not there yet.).  He seemed to think being in debt was a given.  I believe this is a lie that has been marketed and sold to the American people for far too long.  Being in debt is not a way of life you have to settle for.  

How can you make it without debt?  The first step is to actually make a decision that you are finished with debt, that you are tired of your hard earned money being paid out to someone else almost before you even see it!  When you've finally made that decision, the next most important thing you can do to avoid becoming/staying a debtor is to have a plan.  You know the old saying – If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.  And for me, failing is going deeper into debt, or staying in debt when it really isn't necessary.  

A good plan needs to include what you are going to do the next time something happens that would typically have you pulling out the credit card or running to the bank to sign up for another loan. It may be that you need to focus on building up your savings a bit so you'll have somewhere to turn in these instances.  It may also be that you need to focus on becoming more content (see my February blog), and really learn what constitutes an emergency, and what the difference is between a need and a want.  A good plan will also include a method for attacking and systematically eliminating your debts.  (Hint: paying the minimum payment listed on your statement is NOT a good plan!)  If you need help choosing a method, just shoot me an email me (see below).  

If you've followed this blog, you know that we started with the end in mind, and that was extreme generosity.  When you're in debt, whether it be a little or a lot, generosity takes a back seat to paying your debts.  I hope that if this is the situation you find yourself in, like our family, you are not okay with it.  Start today by putting together a plan to rid you and your family of the nightmare of your debt so you can begin to live out your dreams!

God Showed Up

"God showed up" has become a popular phrase in recent years. Although the true meaning refers to God being extraordinarily present in a particular circumstance; it seems on the surface to sound as if God is somewhere else and then appears, or "shows up".  The Bible says that God is always with us- ...."because God has said, never will I leave you; never will I forsake you".  Hebrews 13:5b.  So if we believe the Bible, then we can be assured that wherever we are, God IS always with us.
   

Hopefully, most people have seen "God show up" at some point in their lives. Those with chronically ill loved ones or are chronically ill themselves, have possibly experienced God's hand in their lives many times.   

This past week, I witnessed this with my chronically ill husband.  Paul has a manmade graft in his arm that is used for his kidney dialysis. A weak spot had appeared in the graft, and one evening it began to leak blood. That leak quickly progressed into what seemed like floodgates being opened and the bleeding could no longer be controlled. By the time we arrived at the Emergency Room, he was unconscious, in shock and barely breathing. I was taken into a private room with a pastor and told by a nurse that they weren't sure he'd survive. That's when God truly made Himself known. The pastor prayed with me and within minutes I was told that Paul was alert enough to nod his head in response to questions.  To me, it was all God. Not only did I see God work through the ER staff, but through the care and concern of strangers in the waiting room,  and in the comfort and help of the pastor and support staff. God had His hand in the entire experience.

We have been blessed to experience other times that God has shown His power and we've been able to give Him the praise.

However, sometimes situations don't have a happy ending. I've been in some of those as I know so many others have, too. Is God not there in those times? Of course, He's there! We just need to look more closely for Him.. He is there to comfort, provide strength, and help heal our hurting hearts. He is there putting the pieces back together in ways better than we could ever imagine. Philippians 4:19 says "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Jesus Christ".

If you're not seeing God's handiwork in your life, just keep looking. He doesn't just "show up".  He's always right there with you!

Strong Relationships

There is an interesting hypothesis on building spiritual maturity among our children. The hypothesis says children who build strong, positive relationships with adults within the church family are more likely to remain in the church and more likely to score higher on measures of spiritual maturity. So, the question then becomes is it true?  The answer: The research of Tenelshof, J (2000) and of Barna, G (2003) supports the hypothesis. They found children who form a strong supportive, positive relationship with a church member outside of the family is more likely to continue to be a part of that faith group.  

What does that mean to parents? Children do not go to church gatherings without the support of families. Children do not form relationships with people they never or rarely see. Therefore, if we want children to be a part of our church family as adults, we need to supply them with opportunities to form these relationships with people outside of the family. 

The most secure relationships begin as infants and toddlers. Make sure the child has the opportunity to be loved on by the church family. Did you see the Easter pictures of children frolicking all over the hill behind the church building? Look at the faces of those children and of the adults who were there with them.  That is a beginning. Let’s help these children to know the love of their church family. If you are not the parent, go greet a baby. Coo to them. Show interest in what they are interested in as they grow. 

---

By: Tenelshof, Judith K., (2000). The Role of Secure Attachment in Predicting Spiritual Maturity of Student at a Conservative Seminary. Journal of Psychology & Theology, 00916471, Summer2000, Vol. 28, Issue 2. 

Barna, George and Hybels, Bill (2003). Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions, Regal Publishing: Washington, DC. 

Use What We Have

As Jesus went about the Galilean countryside, he taught and cured the people’s diseases.  In my last blog I mentioned that he used the powers he possessed, miraculous as they were, in daily circumstances, to help those he loved.  Acknowledging that his healings, his supernatural control of the physical world and his raising the dead as gifts that belong only to God, what, you might ask, can we do that would even come close to comparing with what Jesus could do.

Well, we might start by considering that we have exactly the same amount of time each day that Jesus had.  The choice is ours as to how we spend each minute of each day.  The more Christ like we are, the more minutes we use in assisting others we encounter.  We may not be able to reverse their illnesses or rescue them from unforgiving elements or even raise their departed children from the dead, but we can comfort and assist with the resources that are available to us.  We can share our presence in times of sorrow, a bite to eat when hungry, a drink when thirsty and encouraging words to soothe troubled souls.  

Additionally, by the force of sheer numbers, Christians today have immeasurably more total time than Jesus and his disciples had.  The sum of our efforts can provide infinitely more sustenance, solace, shelter and encouragement to a lonely and hurting world.  Maybe our efforts are individually less dramatic than Jesus’ Godly powers, but even the cures that Jesus effected were as temporary as any aid we provide.  All those he helped eventually died and natural disasters and disease still claim their toll. 

In a different manner, modern Christianity as a whole has financial wealth beyond those that Jesus and his disciples had.  They were a vagabond group that lived from day to day on limited funds.  We on the other hand, are rich by comparison.  Just by pooling our excess monies, we can deploy material blessings that dwarf what Jesus chose to use.

So what can we do to emulate the ministry of Jesus?  Millions of believers can provide billions of minutes and dollars of assistance and it doesn’t take a herculean effort either.  Just each one of us choosing each day to spend some of our available resources living beyond our own self interests.  Such is the nature of spiritual salt. 

Jonah

People ask me what I like best about China and I always give them the same answer -- it’s the people. I have made many close friends during my visits. One is like a brother to me. His English name is Jonah. We met in Shenyang during the time I spent at the orphanage when Jonah was working for a relief organization. Jonah was terribly burned in an accident and after he was discharged from the hospital he wandered around the country in an attempt to understand why such a thing had happened to him. Jonah told me that it was during these travels that he met a Christian who led him to Christ. Jonah explained that the tragedy of being burnt worked out for his good. I now call Jonah “Di Di” which in Chinese means “younger brother.” One year, when I was in Beijing, Jonah came from Shenyang to visit me. We spent a few days in Beijing and then I went back to Shenyang with Jonah. While we were together Jonah asked for prayer that he would be able to find a wife. Jonah’s parents were pressuring him to find a mate. It wasn’t very long after I returned home that Jonah emailed me the good news that he was getting married. The next time I came to China I was able to visit Jonah, his wife Candy and their brand new baby girl. A few years later Jonah and Candy had another daughter. China, at that time, had a one child policy and I asked Jonah if he and Candy had gotten in trouble for having a second child. Jonah smiled and said, “No brother, Candy is Korean.” I learned that minorities are allowed to have more than one child. Jonah and Candy are leaders in their church. I’m always thankful for my brother Jonah and his family. They have been a blessing in my life.

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

I can quit anytime I want !!!!
I only do it on the weekends !!!
I don't have a problem !!!!

These are just a few of the lies we tell ourselves as an addict. If you want the truth, ask yourself 3 questions. 

1. Do you think about it more than your family's needs?
2. Does my family suffer from my pursuit of this addiction?
3. Does my addiction keep me from being the husband, wife, man or woman that God wants me to be?

If you understand and answer these questions honestly you will realize that you need help if you are an addict. That does not mean just drugs and alcohol.  Addiction has many forms like shoplifting, gossip, cell phones, etc.... YOU CANNOT DO IT ALONE !
There are many groups out there like N.A or A.A for all types of addictions. 

Romans 7:7-25 (NIV)-The Law and Sin
7 What shall we say, then? Is the law sinful? Certainly not! Nevertheless, I would not have known what sin was had it not been for the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, “You shall not covet.”[a] 8 But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of coveting. For apart from the law, sin was dead. 9 Once I was alive apart from the law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. 10 I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death. 11 For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. 12 So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. 13 Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! Nevertheless, in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it used what is good to bring about my death, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful. 14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[b] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature[c] a slave to the law of sin.

This is not a message of condemnation.  This is a message of Hope. Jesus loves us all and knows the battle we face on a daily basis. He reaches out to us through several different groups and many people are here to help. Call someone you trust and ask for help. Or look for a local A.A. or N.A. meeting. 

Help is out there, We have to accept it and be Honest. God bless you. 

Hello

Hello, my name is Ashley Young! In preparation for the upcoming mission trip to Roatán, Honduras, I will be updating this blog each month.

I’d like to start by taking the time to introduce myself. I am twenty years old and I am from Williamstown, West Virginia. I am currently a sophomore at Marshall University where I am double majoring in elementary and English education. I have played the violin since I was five years old and I also enjoy reading, writing, and painting. I have always known that I wanted to be a teacher and I wholeheartedly believe that this is the best career path for me, because it combines everything about which I am passionate and gives me the opportunity to serve others on a daily basis. 

Throughout my childhood, I went to church with my friends from time to time, but my family did not regularly attend a church. It wasn’t until I was in the seventh grade that my family began to regularly attend church at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Vienna, WV. It was there that I came to know and love God, and after attending for about a year, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior. I was baptized and became a member of the church. Throughout high school, I was somewhat apathetic in regards to my faith. Looking back it isn’t hard to see that I didn’t have my priorities in order and I missed a lot of opportunities to share the gospel with my classmates.

When I came to Marshall, I got involved in Baptist Campus Ministries (BCM) and started attending Marshall Community Fellowship (MCF). I joined a small group through BCM and began helping with the children’s Sunday school class at MCF.  During my freshman year, I began to play violin with BCM’s praise band and in January I joined the worship team at MCF. My home church didn’t have a lot of people my age, so experiencing fellowship with other students made a huge impact on my life. I have constant encouragement and accountability through the friends that I have made at BCM and I have experienced a lot of personal growth since coming to college. 

I would describe the fall of my freshman year as the best and worst time of my life. I had made incredible friends and I loved school and my relationship with God was stronger than it had ever been before. In October, my grandma, with whom I was very close with, passed away. It was the first time that I had ever experienced a personal loss. It was devastating, but the girls in my small group and many of my friends were such a blessing to me in that time. A month later, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. By the time that the doctors found it, it had already metastasized to her bones. This means that her condition is treatable, but there is no cure. To this day I am terrified for her, but I trust God and I know that He is sovereign. It has been absolutely incredible to not only see how my family has grown together, but how my courageous mother has grown closer to God with each passing day.

At the time all of this happened, my small group was journeying through the book of James. James 1:2-3 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of his faith produces perseverance.” Consider it pure joy. While this was a difficult season of my life, I learned so much about myself and my relationship with Christ. While this is never what I would have planned for myself, I understand that God’s plan for me is far better than my own, and because of these things, I have become a better version of myself.

Christ Like

As Christians, we are to be like Christ.  But what was Christ like?  His adult life began by traveling throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and healing every disease and sickness among the people.  He changes water to wine to bail out a wedding host.  He had an engaging conversation with a social outcast at a well.  He physically touched a leper, cleansing him.  He cured Peter’s mother-in-law of a fever.  He stilled a storm, calming the fears of his friends.  A woman reached for the hem of his garment and he allowed her to be healed.  He raised the synagogue leader’s daughter from the dead.  And more… and more...

I’ve wondered many times why so much ink was dedicated to these social situation miracles instead of more details on His teachings – doctrines to abide by.  But then maybe he was teaching us – how to be like him.

Remember the big two commandments?  And the following words that all the Law and the prophets hang on these two commandments?  Jesus truly loved all those people He interacted with and He used the powers he possessed to help them.  In the process:

• God was glorified
• He established His own credibility
• He left each place better than he found it
• The light from His presence spread far and wide

He was modeling for us what the 2nd greatest command looks like and illustrating a standard for those who would later aspire to emulate Him.

Teach our Children

“You, who are on the road, must have a code that you can live by.”  This is the first line of the song, “Teach your Children Well”, by Crosby, Stills, and Nash, which compels me to question, “What kind of code are our children living by?”

First, let’s talk about building a strong foundation for our children.  Having taught school for most of my life, I witnessed children who struggled in 6th grade because they had a weak foundation in the primary grades; and sadly, these students were often “lost” as they went “on their road”. On the other hand, I came into contact with children who had a firm foundation, who were determined, confident, and successful.  They had no qualms about tackling something new “down their road”.  They knew where they were going. 

These two scenarios also ring true when teaching our children God’s word.  We must start when they are young to give our children a firm foundation-a “code” to live by.  A great example of a teenager who had a “code to live by” was Daniel.  He was taken into Babylonian captivity for 70 years, into a hostile, foreign, idol-worshiping country, but because of his firm foundation in Jehovah God, he never compromised in his faith—even when faced with death.  Then there’s Paul’s young protégé, Timothy, whose mother, Eunice, and grandmother, Lois, were commended by Paul for instilling the “faith” in Timothy. And I must mention Mary, the mother of Jesus.  She was, most likely, just a teenager when the angel, Gabriel, appeared to her, telling her she would give birth to the Messiah and that she was “highly favored by God.”  Mary’s answer?  “I am the Lord’s servant; may it be to me as you have said.”  Wow! Mary definitely had a firm foundation in her God. 

Therefore, let’s be intentional about giving our children a “code to live by”; don’t leave it to chance because it will probably never happen.  Talk to your children about God, read the Bible with them, give them weekly verses to memorize—start when they are young and they will have a plethora of Bible information when they are older.  I think of the words Moses told the Israelites, “Love the Lord with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commands that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

If you are a parent of young children, it is scary to think of what these children may face as they grow, so give them a firm foundation, a moral compass, a “code to live by”.  Don’t let them be lost on their road. Don’t let them be like the Israelites, who, after the death of Joshua, forgot Jehovah God—“After that whole generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation grew up, who knew neither the Lord or what He had done for Israel.”  They began to worship idols, and the various gods of the people around them.  The wisest king, Solomon, said it well, “Train up your children in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”  Teach your children well.

The Prayerful Baby

It is 3:00 am and you crawl out of a nice warm baby to rescue a screaming infant.  Prayer may be the last thing you are thinking.  You sit down to a full meal, artfully prepared and ready to be consumed by your family without much thought you bow your head to give thanks to the God who provided the health, finances, and the bounty of this table.  What of baby’s meal? Before baby latches to breast or open his or her lips for the bottle, pray a short prayer of thanksgiving.  You may not feel very thankful yourself, but that audible prayer is an example to baby. 

Here’s another example: You are on the way to the child-care center to drop off baby.  Baby is awake and happy, you, on the other hand are anxious and overwhelmed with whatever it is you face today.  An audible prayer for those who will care for your child while you are at work sets a different tone than that hurried, frantic dash across town even praying for your own day gives the day to Jesus to make of it what he will.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 

Do not long to be the perfect parent, let God have the power.    

Psalm 16

Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord, apart from you I have no good thing”. 

David begins this psalm by asking God to keep him safe and recognizing that no good thing comes in his life except from God. Here David reflects on what is good in life and how we attain it. In our lives, what do we consider as good: a good job, financial security, a home, professional status? 

When we have these things it is natural to say things are going well. On the other hand, striving for these things when we don’t have them brings stress and anxiety to our lives. But what good thing is David talking about here? He sets the stage by first declaring, “You are my Lord”. Then the good he refers to is that which emanates from God. “Apart from you I have no good thing.” The good David strives for is not from what he can accomplish for himself, but from what God gives him. Remember, David was an extremely successful king. He conquered territory from the Euphrates River, now Iraq, to the Mediterranean Sea. He commanded a powerful army and received tribute from many of the surrounding nations.   

He does not however, refer to this success as the good in his life. In verses 5 through 7, David identifies two good things that come from the Lord. One is faith that his destiny is in God’s hands.  “Lord . . . you make my lot secure”. What makes us successful and secures our future? For David it was the assurance that, despite being persecuted for seven years by Saul, despite a civil war with his own son, he had an inner confidence that God was in control of his future. 

The second good thing is in verse 7. David is thankful that God is right beside him, giving him counsel. “I will praise the Lord, who counsels me”. It is not a matter of now and then getting counsel from God. For David continues in verse 7, “even at night my heart instructs me”. His mindset of seeking counsel from God so permeated his being that it seeps into his being even in his sleep. A spirit of gratitude and praise puts him in a frame of mind where God is walking beside him through life. These are the good things in his life.

How does this kind of walking with God happen? David sums it up in verse 8: “I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken”. It is a conscious decision to focus his mind on the Lord, of always keeping his eyes on the Lord. Looking to God takes our “eyes” off of ourselves, enables us to focus on Him, and lets us walk confidently in peace with God.

Keeping our eyes on the Lord is a spiritual discipline. Like any discipline, it is something we have to practice and cultivate. Paul uses the analogy of athletics when he talks about the discipline it takes to get in spiritual shape to run a race. One of the spiritual exercises we can use to develop the discipline of keeping our eyes on the Lord is memorizing Scripture. Repeating Scripture to ourselves throughout the day focuses our mind on God and reminds us of our dependence on Him. 

Another exercise to develop the discipline of keeping our eyes always on the Lord is to set aside specific times to be with Him during the day. How many times do we say “I’ve got to exercise today” and not get to it? An athlete sets aside specific times each day to exercise. The same applies to us in developing spiritual disciplines. We need to have specific times when we meet with God. Monks have times throughout the day when they stop what they are doing to worship God. While most of us don’t live in a monastery, one of the things we can do is set an alarm on our phones for various times during the day to remind us to take a moment to be with God. We can recite a verse, say a few words to God, and then continue on our day. Develop the discipline of walking through the day with God.

However we work it out for ourselves, David reminds us that apart from the Lord we have no good thing. So, go through the day keeping our eyes always on the Lord and rejoice in His counsel and loving care for us.

Budget, It's Not a Bad Word!

In my first two posts I wrote about where I think personal finance ends (giving) and the rock that you need to build upon (contentment).  Now it's time to get down to the nitty-gritty of what it takes to win with your finances.  The place I would advise you to begin is not very popular at all!  Most people don't want to hear the dreaded B word, but it is a must – BUDGET!  

It seems that most people think about budgets the same way they think about classroom rules doled out by one of their (least favorite) teachers in school. But that is not the case at all.  My background is in elementary education.  I was always taught that good teachers should allow students to have a part in making classroom rules and should make them feel like it was their idea.  This gives the student ownership of the rules, and makes it more likely that they will follow them.  Guess what?  Your budget is your idea, your rules, and you are the one in control!  When you learn to budget, and actually stick to it, you'll experience a certain level of freedom with your finances.  If you think you don't need to budget, though, your money will continue to dictate the rules of the game, and you'll often find yourself wondering where it all went and how you will make it to the end of the month!   

So, how do you actually DO a budget?  Really, it's pretty simple.  I recommend a zero-based budget, so that's what I'm going to tell you about.  The first step is to write down your household income.  Next, you list out all of the expenses that you can think of for that month.  Everyone has some regular bills that are paid every month as well as some that may only be paid a few times throughout the year.  There are also the costs associated with things like groceries, transportation, entertainment, etc. (you may want to spend a month tracking some your expenses to get a better idea of how much you need to budget).  Try to think of everything you will have to spend money on for the month.  Finally, subtract your expenses from your income.  If you've done your budget correctly this should equal zero.  If you come up with a negative number, obviously you're going to need to cut some of your expenses.  If you have some money left you need to look back and see if there is somewhere in your budget that you need to allocate more money (Hint: If you have debt, there's your answer!  If you don't have debt, maybe you need to beef up your savings!).  

Once you have your budget set up that does not mean you can just cruise through the month until it's time to set up the next budget.  Part of successful budgeting is tracking every single dollar you spend during the month.  If you see that you've spent half of your food budget at the end of the first week, there's going to be a problem!  One thing you can do to help you stay on track is use cash envelopes.  Instead of constantly swiping your debit card for things like eating out, entertainment, and groceries, you take cash out of your account and put it in envelopes labeled with the different categories of your budget that you want to use cash for.  Once the cash is gone from an envelope, that budget category is finished for the month!  Tracking expenses is a must if a budget is actually going to be beneficial to your finances.  

The next question you may have is where to do your budget.  The answer really depends on your personal preferences.  If you are old school you may want to actually get a notebook or legal pad and write out a budget by hand.  If you like this idea there are many forms available online or in various books that you can copy and use as well.  In the early years of our marriage, before we even really knew what we were doing, Amanda and I “budgeted” on legal pads.  From there we moved on to using a spreadsheet template that I found online.  If you are really into using spreadsheets you can create your own, or find one online like I did. Both of those ways (paper and spreadsheet) get the job done, so if one of them suits you best, go for it!  The way I prefer nowadays is an online budget.  There are several options available that you could find by doing a simple search.  I suggest just playing around with a few of them and seeing if there is one you like best.  Just this year I started using a new one and have found it to be really easy to use.  If you'd like to know where to find it just track me down, or shoot me an email (see below) and I'll share.  

I feel like I've condensed a lot of information down into just a few paragraphs, but hopefully you get the idea.  Budgeting is an essential part of good financial health.  Clear your mind of the negative connotations the word budget brings about, and don't let another month go by that you don't have one.  And once you get rolling, don't ever go without a budget again!  

Is The Glass Half Empty or Half Full?

"Is the glass half empty or half full?"  We've all heard this saying many times and recently it once again came to mind. 

We'd had a rough week with the equipment we use for my husband's home hemodialysis.  He has kidney disease and six evenings a week at home, we do a milder version of the same treatment that is done three times a week in the dialysis center. This particular night found me on the phone with the company's tech support, for the third time that week.  I was informed that the problem was apparently not fixable and would require new equipment, which would arrive the next day.  For that evening, we would have to resort to Plan B, which would require more work on our part.  I expressed my disappointment and mentioned to the support person that it had been a frustrating week.  Although it wasn't his or anyone else's fault, he apologized to me for this
happening. 

Then it hit me- or should I say convicted me. My glass was not half empty.  This situation was not a big deal.  I shouldn't have whined as if it was a big deal.  In reality,  we just had to put forth a little more effort to achieve our goal.  No one was physically hurt from this situation.  No one's life was threatened.  It was a small bump in the road.  When I thought about all the people that were dealing with grief, loss and other major trauma in their lives, it was silly of me to think of this as a reason to complain.  I have Jesus in my life and I need to remember that my glass is not just half full but always overflowing.

Salt & Light #2

The suffix “–ian” as in Christ-ian, means belonging to, from, relating to or to be like.  So when we accept the designation “Christian” we acknowledge we are born from and belong to Christ.  However, we also relate to who he is and become like him.  But what does this mean?  It’s the question of a lifetime.

Let’s start by considering what he said.  Early in His sermon on the mount, He gives us His expectations for the presence of Christians in the world.  

1. We are the salt of the world.  Our existence is to favorably flavor this wildly imperfect planet we live on.  

2. We are to enlighten the world.  Through the reflected illumination we give off, others must see our good works and glorify God.

But what if instead of God being increasingly glorified He is being marginalized by modern society?  Then it falls on those of us who are Christ-ians, to enhance our saltiness and brighten our illumination.  Living the big two commands, especially the second, loving others as ourselves, moves us along the right path.  

All good theory you say, but exactly how do we do this?  Next time we’ll take a peek at Christ’s life on earth and think about how to relate to it.

So You Are Forgiven

To Parents:

So you are forgiven and free from guilt. Does that mean you don't have to change? No, Christ loves us enough to walk with us in the active change process. 2 Corinthians 7:10 discusses how Godly sorrow leads not to overwhelming regret, but to active God centered change. So what is the importance of this when considering parenting children with behavioral challenges? Everything it means that our actions are weighed not against a comparison to the kid next to him in class, but through the lens of a Godly father. Therefore we throw off the sin and run toward loving Godly parenting daily, hourly, in this moment. But take comfort because you are not alone Godly sorrow by its very name implies that God is with us, before us, besides us, and behind us. You are not making this change alone but God is making it in you. You have failed 100 time before. Praise God! That means you are 100 times better now than when you started. Pray Lord I'm a sinful parent. I need you. I can't do this on my own. Change me so I can be the parent you want me to be. Thank you for loving me through my mistakes and helping when it's too hard. In your name I pray.

To the Child:

"Ok so I've heard about this Jesus thing before but I think that's for good kids... You see I tried to go to church before and a man with a very red face told me I couldn’t come back when I learned not to roll down the aisle. You’re a nice crazy lady to say that Jesus loves me but I'm pretty sure that's for kids who can sit still." 

Dear one let me tell you when Jesus walked the earth he had 12 close friends and three best friends. One of them, Peter, well if he was sitting in front of me in my office we would probably be throwing around words like ADHD or maybe even oppositional. You see he spoke without thinking, he used bad language and he was violent. Sound like anyone you know? So what do I take from God choosing him from all the men on the earth? That Jesus not only wants to be your friend he wants to be your best friend. He not only wants you in his house he wants to give you the keys to his home. He not only calls you to follow him he calls you to love and lead others. So beloved I do mean you when I say Jesus loves you.

God is My Father

It was the Sunday before Christmas and Sunday School teachers all over the nation were blissfully teaching the story of the birth of Jesus.  Seems like a picture for a Hallmark card does it not.  Not so this year.  

Child: “Let me get this straight”, quipped a fourth grader with his arms crossed over a not-so clean t-shirt.  “God was Jesus’ baby-daddy and this Joseph was his stepdad, right.”  

Teacher: “Well yes I guess you could put it that way.”

Child:  “Then I just got one question. Did God pay child support?  Cause I ain’t got no respect for no baby-daddy who doesn’t pay child support.”

I recently attended an area wide spiritual function.  When I looked around the room I saw a sea of faces I was surprised to see most were women and what men were there were well over 50. So where is daddy? Spiritual development is a joint effort for parents.  Like the child in my Sunday School class, I ain’t got no respect for a father who doesn’t pay child support.  I am not talking about a monthly financial contribution, though that is important too.  I am referring to a contribution to the child’s spiritual well-being.  Boys and girls are taught how to be men and women more from their father’s than from their mothers.  If this is true, what will the church look like in twenty years if this generation of father’s doesn’t pay the child support?  The church will be weak, fatherless beings floundering for a head. God is our heavenly father, how will we learn to respect him if earthly fathers fail to teach children what fathers should be? That doesn’t mean your earthly father must be perfect, it means the one he serves should be.  Matthew 11:27

Matthew 18

Matthew 18 

18-- At that time, the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” 

It has been frequently said that it takes “special” people to work with individuals who have special needs. Although I agree that we each have different skill-sets that wire us to be experts with different talents and gifts, I will have to strongly disagree with the above statement. The apostle Paul told us in 1 Corinthians 9:22, “To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all means I might save some.” Paul was fully aware that all people have “special” needs. Therefore, it was necessary that he develop his skill-set with the assistance of The Holy Spirit and be all things to all people. Does that mean that we are to be a phony? Absolutely not! We are commanded by Jesus to fulfill the Great Commission. It would be impossible to be obedient to Christ and exclude anyone from the list of those we are to disciple. We are not acting “fake” by working on our knowledge and understanding of a people group with which we are unfamiliar. Relationships with all people take time. Understanding individuals with unique gifts and challenges also take time. 

I propose to you and me that the real ones with the “special needs” are us! Our need is to acquire the skills, plus supports, to minister to a different population of individuals that we may not be familiar with. Is it easy to minister to a unique people group? I answer that question with a statement that Jesus never said that discipleship was easy.  He requires us to step outside of our comfort zone or figurative boat and allow Him to guide us on an incredible journey to be “fishers of men!” The Great Commission mentions that we reach out to everyone. There is no special exemption for those that may be unfamiliar to us. 

I am encouraging each of us to pray for an open heart and an open mind to the new experience and opportunities to use us for His Kingdom! And whoever welcomes such an opportunity in His Name, welcomes Him!

Love

Love.  A word we see a lot as we near Valentine's Day or any time we open the Bible.  I Corinthians 13 is a whole chapter about love. Judy, a friend from Texas, once told me a little girl in her Sunday school class said, “I love Jesus and Willie Nelson.”  Now Judy and I appreciate a good Willie Nelson song but something about that sentence just made us giggle.  Maybe the Greeks were onto something to have four separate words for love:  storge (natural affection as that between parents and children), philia (friendship), eros (romantic), and agape (God’s love toward man and our reflection of His love).

Like Mary, mother of Jesus, I watched my children grow and pondered all they taught me.  Here are a couple childhood examples from our nighttime routine of how my storge loves taught me about reflecting God’s agape love.  

One night I heard Amanda tell God, "I love You."  That was so revolutionary to me and I heard in my heart, "become like little children" (Matthew 18:3).  I realized how wonderful I felt when I heard my child tell me, "I love you". Why had I never thought about telling God I loved Him?  Would He not like to hear His child say, "I love You.”?  Thank you for teaching me Amanda.  I love you.  

Bill and I would lie down with each girl for one song of our favorite tape, Sleep Sound in Jesus by Michael Card.  When I would lie down with Amy she wanted me to face her.  If I would turn my head and face away from her to get more comfortable, Amy would put her sweet little hands on my cheeks and turn my face back toward her.  This time my heart heard, "the LORD turn His face toward you and give you peace” (Numbers 6:26).  What a wonderful way to fall asleep - at peace with the One who loves you with an agape love that only wants your best.  Thank you for teaching me Amy.  I love you.

The Wise Man Built His House upon the Rock

I remember growing up we always use to sing a song at church about the foolish man who built his house on the sand and the wise man who built his house on the rock.  In the song, the foolish man's house “went splat” and the wise man's house “stood firm”.  As far as your finances are concerned the rock that you should be building on is contentment.  Too many people have this idea that if they could just have __________ (fill in the blank – more money, better job, new car, bigger house, etc.) then they would be happy.  This just is not true!

In Philippians 4:11-13, Paul clues us in on how he learned to be content: 

11-- I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12-- I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13-- I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.

For Paul, happiness had nothing to do with what he had or didn't have.  His contentment was a direct result of his reliance on God.  

If you are approaching your finances with the idea that once you get your money in order you'll finally be happy, you are sorely mistaken.  Don't get me wrong, having your finances in order can alleviate stress in your life and make some things easier to deal with, but it can't bring about contentment.  That only happens when you trade your worldly mindset for an eternal one, and reset your focus on Jesus.  When the foundation of your finances is contentment attained by fully relying on God, you'll be well on your way managing money His way!

I Don't Want To Be a Hypocrite

I want to go to church but I am going to wait until I am a better person. I still battle drugs and alcohol. When I quit, I will go to church. I Don't Want To Be a Hypocrite! Do you know that God defines a hypocrite as someone who pretends to be better than he or she is?   Not someone coming to church with a heavy burden and looking for Him. Matthew 6:5 says “When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by man. I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room and close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

If you are worried about the judgement of man in a church, allow me to remind you of Matthew 7:1-3,  “Do not judge , or you to will be judged. For in the same way you judge others you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of saw dust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”  This tells us that at no time are we to pretend that we know any one persons walk with the Lord.  Anything that keeps you from Him is a sin.  We are as the Parable of the lost son, Luke 15:11-32. I will tell you that in Romans 3:23  “For all have fallen short of the glory of God”.  Luke 19:10, “For the Son of man is come to seek and to save the lost”. This doesn't mean to continue to sin willingly. Romans 6:1-23, “What shall we say then?  Shall we continue to sin, that grace may abound?” ...... You can research the rest, but don't let man keep you from the Father. Go to God to build a relationship and He will deliver you to a place of peace. No it won't happen overnight and it takes work from you, too. Trust in Him and He will strengthen you. 

God Bless